Most divorce cases are often lengthy and messy. There are a lot of disagreements about how assets will be divided, child custody, and many other issues so that it is only a few people who have a peaceful divorce. However, couples who choose mediation often have an easy and quick divorce. Plus, it saves money and time, allows you to keep your issues private, and minimizes conflict. If you are considering mediation, here are some tips that can help lead to a better outcome.
Choose Your Attorney Wisely
Even if the divorce is peaceful, never pass the chance to work with a divorce mediation attorney. Ensure they are skilled and supportive, as that increases the chances of a quick settlement. Most attorneys try to take over a case, which can only lead to litigation. An experienced lawyer will review the agreements and give you advice tailored to your case while acting as a law coach. In addition, the lawyer will clarify any concerns you may have and prepare you for both the best-case and worst-case scenarios.
Focus On What Matters
Divorce involves emotions. Most people take years to heal from a divorce. It is only expected that emotions like anger, sadness, and remorse may take over at one point during the mediation process. However, these emotions can be counter-productive. It is better to accept them and find time to heal instead of allowing the emotions to take over. Remember that in mediation, both partners need to set aside their feelings and find a practical agreement. Anger, unrealistic hopes, wanting revenge, or trying to stall the negotiation will only make the process more ineffective, and this can lead to litigation.
Create A List of Any Concerns You Want to be Addressed
If you are worried about asset divisions, note that. If you feel that the other parent is not ready for the responsibility of taking care of the child alone, note this. These are the things you will bring to the table during your negotiation. Discuss them and hear what the other partner has to say about the matter. Your ex probably also has a few reservations on certain matters. Addressing them in mediation will prevent any conflict down the road.
Understanding The Role of A Mediator
A divorce mediator is a neutral third party who helps to divorce spouses express their opinions while listening to the other partner’s point of view. Do not approach divorce mediators thinking you will sway them to take your side. Their role is to keep the conversation going cordially. Plus, they are not there to help you solve previous issues you have with your spouse, and neither do they take sides. Take comfort in knowing that the mediator wants to find a solution that benefits everyone. Even when they ask for clarification on certain issues, do not assume they are attacking you.
Be Ready to Compromise
Trials, litigation, and any other legal process are all about winning. But for mediation, it is different. If you approach mediation expecting to win, the process will fail. You need to prepare yourself to compromise. Keep in mind that the alternative to divorce mediation is an expensive and lengthy process involving a judge.
You Can Take A Break
As expected, at one point, you will feel your emotions getting out of control. It is okay to take a short break and rest. This is something that mediators will recommend, especially if things are getting out of hand. A break allows you to calm down, consult with your attorney and ensure you have your emotions in check.
With these tips in mind, also remember to hire a skilled attorney and divorce mediator. The decisions you will be making in that mediation room will affect many factors in the future, such as child custody, alimony, asset division, among other things.